Wow it has been a long time since my last diary. Time has gone really quick and I just realized that I am back to ground zero once again. I worked really hard at Scharp Design or at least I thought I worked quite hard, but perhaps god has decided that I need to be challenged. I have to say I was quite said because that was my first full time proper job. When Ross told me that I can no longer stay because our office had no projects, my emotions went south. But I think I am accepting this quite professionally and maturely. Maybe this is what they called becoming a man! A real man!
It is time to plan for future, for tomorrow and never let yourself fall behind. No matter what happens as long as I am alive and still breathing. I can get over everything.
I noticed I have experienced a lot of pain in the last 24 months which is not bad. There were quite a number of sudden blows- Sorry David, the company decided to make you redundant because we have no projects in Sydney, you have improved and done well but we have to cut staff otherwise we will go bust; On Wednesday, I love you babe, drive home safe... On Friday, I want to be alone, whats wrong babe? ... I don't know... I am sorry... I don't love you or like you. Find a life and stop bothering me...
Anyways, but at least I don't have those fucking nightmares anymore, I think I was so close to find a psychiatrist, but I was too ashamed to tell. No one on this planet would think that was normal. But Then I searched on google and found out this phenomenon actually exists. Anyways, I can see I think about her a lot less and it is gradually getting out of my mind now.
I think I really like you David, Blah,Blah Blah .... I just got a boyfriend now and I had a dream about you last night...
Ohhhh k I see I see... Wow good luck. (What, you think I will get jealous?? There is a reason why I never asked you to be my girlfriend)
Why I say I am back to ground zero? Well I have basically nothing at the moment. A career that worth fighting for the rest of your life. A wife worth loving and giving for the rest of your life. Well it's not really happening is it Dave? Maybe it is a cliche that life is a loop, but it seems true. But I guess the only way I can comfort myself is to tell myself that I am prepared for the next loop or great fall as you may say. Anyways, I am bullet proof!!!
Should I take a holiday soon? I miss my grandma and my families in overseas.
